Friends -- The One with Monica and Chandler's Wedding
SEASON 7: NBC -- May 17, 2001 (re-run September 2001)
COMPLETE THESE SENTENCES FROM THE PROGRAM (showing probability or advisability, usually with modals or adverbs):
Monica: Do you realize the last time in the coffee house as 6 single people? Phoebe: Why?! to the coffee house?! .. Oh. Chandler: Yep. From now on
the four of you guys and me and the Mrs., the little woman, the
wife, the old ball and chain.. Monica: old? Chandler: ... the young, hot ball and chain. Monica: That's better. Rachel: Oh, . Joey: Where are you guys going? Monica: the wedding dress and then
lunch with Mom. Ross: Joey, lunch with my mom? Joey: No, I just heard "lunch." But, yeah, . Sure.
Ross: Do you know what? Actually, I'm kind of glad they're leaving, because to you about something. Chandler: What's up? Ross: Well, a little awkward. Chandler: Listen, if you want to borrow money, it's kind of a bad time. dinner for 128 people tomorrow night. Ross: It's not that. Now, what to you I'm not saying as your
friend, OK? I'm saying it as Monica's older brother.
Ross: OK. tomorrow, and
more thrilled for both of you. But as Monica's older brother,
you this: if you ever hurt my little sister, if you ever cause her
any unhappiness of any kind, you down and kick your ass! ...
Rachel: What are you doing, Mon? Monica: I'm making a list of all the things that are most likely to go wrong at the wedding. That way prepared. Phoebe: What are they? Monica: Well, so far I have , my veil gets lost, or I don't have my something blue. Rachel: Hey! Those are all the things that I'm responsible for. Monica: with the odds, Rach.
Joey: Well, anyway, the guy they wanted backed out and now they want me! shooting today! Phoebe: Congratulations! Monica; Wait, wait, wait! today! Today is the rehearsal
dinner. Joey: Oh, no done by then. Monica: Oh. Well then, way to go, you big movie star! Joey: All right. you guys over there. I'm off to fight the Nazis.
Rachel: late. Go! Go!
Richard: Nice to meet you, Joey. Joey: Wow, this. This is incredible! I mean, you just won
an Oscar! Richard: No I didn't. Joey: I think you did. Richard: I think I lost. Three times. Joey: Uh. Cookie? ... Aaron: OK. We're about an hour away from getting the scene lit. So if you guys don't mind, it a couple of times? Richard: Yeah, sure. Joey: OK. Aaron: OK. All right. it. ... and ... action! Joey: the rest of the platoon. Richard: Forget the platoon! The platoon is gone. Joey: What? Richard: The platoon is dead. facts, Tony! Joey: So, what ? We have no reinforcements, no food! Richard: Oh, we still have food in the basement. I saw potatoes and some dried pasta. Aaron: a minute. Joey, you keep touching your face. Is
something wrong? Joey: No. I thought kind of a cool character thing. You know,
he's a face-toucher. Aaron: I don't think so. it back to Richard's last line. Action!
Richard: any weapons, but we still have food. In the basement
I saw potatoes, and some dried pasta, and a few tins of tuna.
Monica: Honey, . Chandler: OK. Here's a question you never want to . My dad just
called and wanted to know if one of your pearl necklaces. Monica: I don't have anything like that, but see if Rachel does. Chandler: Yes, more people in this. Monica: Hey, do you realize that at this time tomorrow
? Chandler: Wait a minute. I had a date tomorrow night. Monica: I just ... that we made it! Chandler: Well, so surprised.
Chandler: Yeah. You know, I keep thinking that and all, well, "Chandler." But nothing has. Monica: Oh, I'm so glad. And thank you so much for staying so calm during this. I mean, it's really ... It's made me stay calm. ..
worse.
Monica: Dad. There's Ross. talk to him?
Monica: It's so great to see you both here. Charles: Yes, although I think a little too much of some people.
Aren't you a little old to be wearing a dress like that?
Monica: Oh, Rach. Rach. Hey, me a favor and
to Chandler's dad and to keep him away from Chandler's mom?
Ross: everyone's attention, please? I'm Ross Geller. Jack Geller: Dr. Ross Geller. Ross: Dad, please. As I was saying ... I'm Dr. Ross Geller, and I'm the best man. And this marriage is doubly special for me, because not only is the
groom my best friend, but the bride is my little sister. And she's the greatest sister . So, if you'd all please join me in raising a glass to the couple we're here to celebrate. To the Bings!
Monica: You know, steam my wedding dress. OK? Who wants the
responsibility of making sure nothing happens to it? Rachel: it. Monica: Who wants it? Anybody? Rachel: I said it. Monica: Nobody wants to do it? All right. it myself. Rachel: Monica. it up!
Joey: Thanks. Yeah, I figure if I wear these in my scenes, at least spit in my eyes. Ross: Yeah. And, if I remember correctly, Ray Ban was the official sponsor of World War I! Joey: Great! All right! you later.
Phoebe: Oh my god! Chandler just left though? Rachel: Yeah, but what we think.
" Monica I'm sorry ... I drank the last of the milk." Phoebe: Or to tell her that he's changed his name. You know,
"Tell Monica I'm Sorry." Ross: I think it means he freaked out and left! Phoebe: so negative! Good god,
that in there right now?! Rachel: OK. Phoebe, I think Ross is right. What ? Ross: Look, OK him and bring him back, OK? You make sure
Monica does not find out, OK? Phoebe: OK. But, if you don't find him and bring him back, you
down and kick your ass! Ross: him!
Joey: Picture? What picture? Richard: your script? your face so I can play off your reaction.
Gunther: tomorrow, right? Ross: Yes, yes. . Everything's fine.
you tomorrow at the wedding. Gunther: I wasn't invited. Ross: Well then, you the day after tomorrow.
Ross: Look, if you see Chandler that I'm looking for
him?
??: Here's you call sheet for tomorrow. Joey: Oh, tomorrow. ??: now. Joey: Oh, no. me out of it. I have plans. Important
plans!
Monica: today! .. I think I just cracked a rib. But I
don't care, because today is my wedding day! My day is finally here! Phoebe: You know, he's gone. Monica: getting ready! Rachel: Oh, her start getting ready. This is too awful! ...
Oh, god. But wait, in the gown and then , and then the gown. And ... Phoebe: it. it Rachel. this
here. Rachel: Sorry. I'm sorry. It's just so sad! Phoebe: yourself together. you like this. Then something's wrong. Rachel: I know. I know. ... There's no tissue. me some toilet
paper? Phoebe: Here. Oh, that's gone too. This is Monica's bathroom, right? Relax. I found one. Rachel: OK. Oh, thank you. Oh, god! another one? Phoebe: Sure. Do you need some floss? Rachel: Oh, if Chandler doesn't show up! Phoebe: Oh, here's a whole bunch. Rachel: Oh. I mean, at the wedding waiting for him, and
, "Oh, that poor girl!", you know, and then
back here and all alone! Phoebe: Oh, my god! Rachel: What? Phoebe: There was a pregnancy test in the garbage! And it's positive. Monica's pregnant! So I guess totally alone. Phoebe: a baby! Hey, as her "something new"? Rachel: Oh, my god! Phoebe: Hey, do you think this is why Chandler took off? Rachel: No. that test, because I took out the trash
last night. Phoebe: Oh god, this is turning into the worst wedding day ever! The bride is pregnant, the groom is missing .. and I'm still holding this.
Rachel: OK, Phoebe, anyone about this.
Rachel: All right. her that he's gone. Ross: No! Hey! Hey, . Rachel: Ross, getting ready soon. Ross: Well, her a little? back to some of the places I went last night. Rachel: All right. Well, how
much time do you need? Ross: Well, how much time before getting
ready? Rachel: One hour. Ross: Give me two. Rachel: So why do you ask?!
Ross: OK. me luck. Phoebe: OK. with you. Ross: Why? Phoebe: Ross, you're tired. You've been looking all night. And clearly you suck at this. Rachel: All right. you guys later. Phoebe: OK. Wait. Do you know how her? Rachel: I don't know. something out.
Rachel: ! Monica: Yes . The right guy's just around the corner. OK, are we
done with that? Rachel: Monica, I'm serious! about it and become a
lesbian or something. Monica: Any woman would be lucky to have you. Rachel: Or me feel better if I slept with Joey. Monica: Rachel, are you OK?
Joey: Excuse me, Aaron. Hi. I'm having a little problem with the schedule. You see, originally today. And I have this wedding that at. It's my best friends'. And . So
past four. Aaron: Joey,
until the end. filming just for you. It's not like it's your
wedding. Joey: surgery. Aaron: What?! Joey: Yeah. I just made up the stuff about the wedding because I didn't want you to worry about me. But surgery today. Aaron: What kind of surgery? Joey: Transplant. Aaron: But on Monday. Joey: Hair transplant. Aaron: But you're not bald. Joey: It's not on my head. Aaron: Look, Joey. There's nothing . Besides,
out by four anyway. We've just got one short scene, it's
just you and Richard, and, god knows, he's a pro! fine. ...
morning, Richard.
Ross: him. He's one guy in a huge city. Phoebe: Oh my god! Is that him? Ross: That is an old Chinese woman. Phoebe: in disguise, you know. Ross: You know, this all wrong. If you're
Chandler, and you want to hide, where is the last place on earth people would think you'd go? .... So this is your office? Chandler: How did you guys find me? I knew at the gym.
Phoebe: What the hell are you doing? Chandler: Panicking. And using the internet to try to prove that I'm related to Monica. ... How is she? Ross: She's fine. you're gone. And . OK? Now come on. We're going home. Chandler: No,
no, that. Phoebe: Why not? Chandler: Because if I go home, we're going to become the Bings! the Bings! Ross: What's wrong with being the Bings?
Phoebe: Look, Chandler. Right now, no one has a lower opinion of you than I do. But I totally believe this. Chandler: I want to. I love her so much! But I'm afr.. This is too huge.
Ross: You know? OK, you're right. It is huge. So
it just a little bit at a time? getting married for a second.
about it. home and take a shower? Chandler: Well, yeah. But then ..
Monica: put my makeup on. at the hotel in an hour. Rachel: Oh, wait! Monica: What? Rachel: to lunch. Monica: to lunch! Rachel: Right. Oh, good god, I've fallen down! Monica; What's going on? Rachel: OK. All right. Honey, listen. When you what
you, I need you to remember that we are all here for you and that
we love you. Monica: OK, you're really freaking me out. Rachel: Chandler .....'s vest! Chandler's vest. Monica: How ? Oh, wait, wait! Are you
serious? Phoebe: We found the vest. Well, I mean, an eye on it,
you know, to make sure we don't lose it again. Monica: Oh, wow! me like that, OK. I mean, for a
minute there, I was like "Oh, my god! The worst has happened!"
Joey: Look. in, like, an hour, OK?
And I'm the minister. Please, please, it together? Richard: Of course. I'm sorry. I'd hate you to miss anything like that on account of me. this. Joey: Thank you. Thank you. Aaron: Still rolling ..... and action! Joey: I would sooner die in this hell-hole than see her back with you! Richard: . (Slippery little bugger!)
Rachel: Joey! The wedding is in less than an hour! Joey: I know. I'm sorry. The guy's drunk. me go
until we get this. Rachel: Oh, my god! another minister! Joey: No! I'm the minister! All right, look, look.
them both on the phone. them right now. Rachel: Joey, . Joey: Hey! on me! you and me right now. I have the power!
Ross: There go you! You put on a tuxedo! Now that wasn't so scary, was it? Chandler: No. Ross: I'm telling you, just a little bit at a time. Chandler: Yeah, OK. Well, what's the next little bit? Ross: Getting married. .. that, too, just like you've
done everything else. Chandler: Yeah, you're right. that. Ross: Yeah. Chandler: OK. Excuse me for a minute. Ross: Whoa, hey, where are you going? Chandler: Ross, again. I just want to get a little
fresh air.
Phoebe: Wait. . You do that, you know. Rachel: Phoebe, something, you know? I mean, there's no
way on time, so the hotel and see if there's any other weddings going on.
Ross: Hi. Hi. Hi. Has anyone seen Chandler? Jack Geller: I thought he was with you. Ross: He was with me. We're playing a little game. You know -- hide and seek. Jack Geller: us, son. That's cheating. Ross: You're right. Thanks for keeping me honest, Dad. Judy Geller: Well, here. the bride in the wedding dress.
Monica: Are you OK? Ross: Uh huh. Monica: You're sweating. Ross: These beads are beads of joy. Monica: That's sweet. me. Ross: Phoebe, you for a second? Phoebe: Yeah. ... What's going on? Ross: Chandler's gone again! Phoebe: Oh my god! Why would you play hide and seek with someone you know is a flight risk?!
Chandler: Big picture, please! So I was in the gift shop, and that's when I saw this. Yeah, you know. And I thought, "Anything into this scary."
Ross: I've never walked down the aisle knowing in
divorce.
Monica: Who is this? Priest: I'm father Karametsos. Chandler: He's Greek Orthodox. Rachel: As are you. Priest: . Dearly beloved ... Joey: That's my line! .. it from here. Thanks. Dearly
beloved, I'm sorry I'm a little late. by this now, but
Memorial Day weekend, 2002. Well, started before the groom takes off again, huh? ... We are gathered here today to join
this man and this woman in the bonds of holy matrimony. I have known Monica and Chandler for a long time, and two people more perfect for each other. And now, as I've left my notes in my dressing room,
to the vows. Monica .... Monica: He took off?
Rachel: Go on. Go on. Monica: Chandler, for so long I wondered if my prince,
my soul mate. Then three years ago, at another wedding, I turned to a friend for comfort. And instead, I found everything that I've ever been looking
for my whole life. And now here we are, with our future before us, and I only want to spend it with you. You're my prince, my soul-mate, my friend.
... Unless you don't want to. .. You go. Joey: Chandler .. Chandler: (I .. That's OK.) Monica, I thought the most
difficult thing , but when I saw you walking down that aisle, I
realized how simple it was. I love you. Any surprises that come our way, it's OK, because you. You are the person I was meant to
spend the rest of my life with. You want to know if I'm sure .. ? Joey: the bride. So, I guess by the powers vested
in me by the State of New York (and the internet guys) I now pronounce you husband and wife. Oh, wait! Do you take each other? Chandler: I do. Monica: I do. Joey: Yeah you do! Ross: (Rings.) Joey: Aw, crap! OK, the rings. .. We good? Yeah, good?
... Once again, I pronounce you husband and wife. her again!
Chandler: I love you. And I know about the baby. Monica: What baby? Chandler: Our baby. Monica: We have a baby? Chandler: Phoebe found your pregnancy test in the trash. Monica: I didn't take a pregnancy test. Chandler: Then who did? Phoebe: Look at them, and a baby! Rachel: Uh, huh.